An extraordinary novel about loss, understanding and the importance of speaking up when all you want to do is shut down. From an incredible new talent, perfect for fans of Angie Thomas, Gayle Foreman, Jennifer Niven and Nikesh Shukla.

When fifteen-year-old Nathan discovers that his older brother Al, has taken his own life, his whole world is torn apart.

Al was special. Al was talented. Al had so many dreams... so why did he do it? Convinced that his brother was in trouble, Nathan decides to retrace Al's footsteps. As he does, he meets Megan, Al's former classmate, who is as determined as Nathan to keep Al's memory alive. Together they start seeking answers, but will either of them be able to handle the truth about Al's death when they eventually discover what happened? 

'Jawando's writing is incredibly raw and real; I felt completely immersed' Alice Oseman

'An outstanding and compassionate debut' Patrice Lawrence

'One of the brightest up and coming stars of the YA world' Alex Wheatle

'An utter page turner from a storming new talent. Passionate, committed and shines a ray of light into the darkest places - the YA novel of 2020!' Melvin Burgess

Warning - this novel contains themes that some readers may find upsetting, including suicide and intense bullying.